All Zoods

  We’ve chosen cartoon characters for each of the Astrominal Star Signs. ( …. because the Zoods are REAL, they are NOT cartoon characters.) Let’s start with Aries. Bold, fiery, headbutting their way through problems. Sounds like a description of Yosemite Sam from Looney Tunes, don’t you think? That tiny body with that ginormous mustache, blazing guns in both hands, and that hot-tempered personality – and no less on fire than an Aries! Now, onto Taurus. Stubborn yet reliable, loves to indulge, and appreciates the finer things in life. Who else but Disney’s Gaston? With those muscular biceps and a love for eggs and ale, he’s the quintessential Bull! Gemini, the sign of the twins, dual personalities, great communicators. Just like CatDog from Nickelodeon. An optimistic cat and a grumpy dog merged together? That’s a Gemini’s daily inner monologue, isn’t it? Cancer, sensitive and emotional, with an uncanny ability to retreat into their shells… who better than Squirtle from Pokemon? With the perfect shell to hide in and the ability to conjure water at will, it’s spot on. Plus, they’re both super cute. Leos, flamboyant and attention-seeking… oh wait, did I just describe Daffy Duck from Looney Tunes? With a drama queen attitude, always seeking central stage – that’s our Leo! Virgo, the perfectionist of the zodiac…we’re talking Disney’s OCD-afflicted rabbit Thumper from Bambi! Tidy, precise, and mate, calm down, it’s just a freaking leaf! Libras are all about balance, fairness, peace, and harmony; basically, Care Bears in a nutshell. No storm or grumpy monster is too big for their friendly and peaceful approach. Scorpios are secretive and intense, just like Batman. The Dark Knight is all about that brooding mystery, and his Sting isn’t any less deadly than a Scorpio’s. Sagittarius, the adventurous and free-spirited Archer. Hakuna Matata anyone? That’s right – we’ve got Timon and Pumbaa from The Lion King here. Life’s a journey, not a destination they say, echoing every Sagittarian ever! Capricorns, workaholic, and ambitious… like Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob. He’s a crab, Capricorn’s a Seagoat – both love money and are willing to do the most for it. The innovative and eccentric Aquarius could only be Phineas and Ferb. They are always on the go, creating mind-blowing inventions. Sounds like your typical Aquarian’s brain on a lazy Sunday afternoon! And lastly, the dreamy and imaginative Pisces…we’re talking SpongeBob SquarePants here, living in his own colorful world under the sea. Too surreal? That’s a Pisces for you! And there you have it – a galactic stellar exploration through cartoons. Let’s give a round of applause to the real stars – our childhood cartoons! Is this why we turned out the way we are? No, no… Don’t blame the stars, people! That’d be like Wile E. Coyote blaming Road Runner for his failures… or me blaming astrology for my bad puns!

  We’ve found a dog breed for each Starsign! Good day, Labradoodles and Great Danes, (or whatever breed you maybe) Allow me to take you on a fantastic journey through the cosmic forces at play in the Universe…well, not really, I’m just gonna talk about dogs and star signs which quite honestly seems like a perfectly normal thing tot do, to me. Aries The Jack Russsell terrier Let’s start off with Aries, a bold fire sign. I think a Jack Russell Terrier makes perfect sense. A Jack Russell? Why not a Rottweiler, you ask? Well, if you’ve ever met a Jack Russell, you’d know exactly why. Small in size but massive in spirit, plus, they both believe they’re the boss and won’t take no for an answer, no matter how often they’ve failed to conquer the kitchen bin. Taurus Taur loves a St Bernard. For the calm and patient Taurus, we have the kind and gentle Saint Bernard. Like Tauruses, these are big and slow creatures that have the tenacity of a bulldozer when they’ve set their sights on something. Usually it’s food. What is it with Taurus and food, by the way? Gemini Gem an’ Eye love anything from a Chihuaha to a Greaat Dane Moving onto Gemini, it wasn’t easy to pick just one breed, because our lovely Geminis are all about duality. So, why not go big and small at the same time, like a Chihuahua and a Great Dane. I know, sounds mad. Geminis, it’s like walking along, minding your own business and unexpectedly falling into a rabbit hole, only to discover a parallel universe. That’s Geminis for you! Cancer Canny loves a Boxer dog Next up is Cancer, who need loyalty, protection and sensitivity. A boxer it is then. No, not the type you wear, though can you imagine? A boxer in boxers? Brilliant! They’re protective, but also sensitive. Who knew a creature that looks like it smelled something awful all the time could be so heartwarming! Leo Leo loves a Shiba Inu Now our Leo friends, I’ve heard you purring there! I should just say a lion and be done with it, right? But let’s stay true to Canis familiaries – the scintillating Shiba Inu – (The Lion Dog) full of self-confidence, just like a Leo. Plus, they both think they are the king of the jungle, when in reality they’re more Shiba In YOU! Virgo Virgo loves a Border Collie For the perfectionist Virgo, it’s got to be the Border Collie, (aka the Sheep dog!) – the Einsteins of the dog world. Virgos and Border Collies both seem to enjoy folding laundry at impossible speeds, whatever is the doggy equivalent of that. Libra Libby loves an Afgan Hound For our Libra friends, it’s the elegant Afghan Hound. Afghans are graceful, poised, and always seem to float through life with an air of effortless charm—much like Libby, who is known for their love of beauty and harmony. Libby might spend hours grooming her silky coat or admiring her reflection, but don’t be fooled; she’s also quick to make friends at the dog park and can’t resist a playful twirl when the mood strikes. Just like a true Libra, she brings balance, style, and a touch of glamour wherever she goes! Scorpio Score loves a Dalmation Next up, Scorpio. Known for their intensity, mystery and a little bit of moodiness thrown in, we got the Dalmatian. Brilliant, somewhat aloof, and unpredictable. And just like Scorpios, they’ve also been wrongly vilified by a Disney villain! Sagittarius Sagg loves their Labrador For our Sagittarius mates, it’s the adventurous Labrador Retriever. Labs love to explore, get muddy, swim in rivers, and cover your brand-new white carpet in muddy paw prints. Much like Sagittarians who are often known for getting into mischief, but still maintaining charm! Capricorn Capp loves a German Shepherd And for Capricorn? I can hear your organized minds working already. It’s got to be the diligent and optimum working dog – the German Shepherd. Famous for their hard working no-nonsense attitude.  They’d probably run the place better than most of us! Aquarius Aqua loves a Dachshund Then we have innovative and fiercely individual Aquarius. The distinct Dachshund is your match! They’re full of surprises just like Aquarians, except their surprises are usually found under the sofa. Surprising indeed! Pisces Pike loves a Golden Retriever Finally, for our daydreaming Pisces, the whimsical yet reliable Golden Retriever. Known for their everlasting loyalty and love for water, much like our lovely Pisces. They’re also masters of the ‘puppy-dog eyes’ maybe Pisces could learn a thing or two about that? Just remember, whether you’re looking to the stars for answers, or searching for your furry best friend, a little bit of laughter and lot of love is all you need. So, say it with me, dogs and star signs – total eclipse of the bark! Now, who’s got the Scooby snacks?

  We’ve found a hobby for each Starsign! Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s get one thing straight – astrology! Now, do I believe that the alignment of stars at your birth can dictate your entire personality and life’s trajectory? If that’s true, why is my Aquarius friend who was supposed to be the next Bill Gates still struggling to open a Microsoft Word document? But I believe it would be fair – and not to mention, absolutely hilarious – if we could assign hobbies to these Zodiac signs, don’t you think? Let’s start with Aries, the fiery Ram. Now, they’re all about action, aren’t they? It’s not enough for them to just sit on a couch all day, they need to BUILD the couch! IKEA, are you listening? We’ve identified your entire customer demographic! Nothing satisfies an Aries like grueling manual labor mixed with picture-book instructions that require decoding skills equivalent to a cryptographer. Now Taurus, my friend, that’s a different story. They are supposed to love comfort and luxury, right? So, let’s set them up in a spa reviewing job. But let’s be realistic; for a Taurus, the idea of ‘luxury’ extends to being able to eat an entire pizza by themselves while watching ‘The Crown’. That’s not a hobby, it’s a lifestyle! Then we have Gemini. Denied the luxury of having one solid personality, these guys get to play with two. And a hobby to keep them both engaged? Easy, sock puppetry! Imagine the conversations between their two beings, ‘Hello, Gemini 1 meet Gemini 2!’ It’s a match made in heaven. Or, Gemini heaven, at least. Cancer, you cozy little Crab! The hobby that suits you best is ‘nesting’. Not literal nesting, mind you, but as a close enough analogy – interior decorating! Now, if only they could stop redecorating every week, their partners would rescue the delivery guy from becoming a spontaneous guest at their constantly revamped home! Leo, the king of the jungle, or as we know them, the king of drama! So naturally (or supernaturally?), their hobby should be writing and performing their own one-man show…in their living room…to an audience comprising primarily of their cat. The reviews, ladies and gents, are truly mixed! Virgo, the perfectionist. Now, what would entertain them? Oh, I know – proofreading! Nothing whips a Virgo into a frenzy like spotting a misplaced apostrophe on a café menu or an ill-placed comma in a text message. It’s like a picture puzzle, where the prize is a tiny burst of superiority! Libras – the fair and balanced. Their hobby? Watching courtroom dramas. Where else do they see such large amounts of deliberation and weighing of decisions, just like they do while deciding whether to have tea or coffee? Scorpio, oh boisterous Scorpio. We’ll assign you a hobby worthy of your intensity – Bingo. Yes, you heard it. Because nothing quite matches the high-stakes adrenaline rush like having your hopes pinned on ‘two fat ducks, 22’! As for Sagittarius, the explorer, random Google Earth explorations might be their go-to hobby. Jump from the streets of Paris to the beaches of Bali, all whilst in their pajamas. Every day is a travel day! Capricorns – serious, hardworking and mature. So, what would be interesting? Model train building, of course! What else would require such dedication, patience and precision? Now, if there is a way to commute to work in a model train, they might just crack it! Aquarians, the innovators, are great at upcycling things. A broken toaster turned plant pot? Why not! Old jeans transformed into a tote bag? Now, that’s some environmentally friendly haute couture! And finally, Pisces, the artistic ones. Abstract Painting! That way, no one can tell whether it’s a masterpiece or just something they saw in their dreams. Either way, they get to express their creativity! And that’s it folks! A fun take on hobbies for every Zodiac sign. Want to argue? Blame it on the stars! Until next time, remember it’s all fun and games until Mercury’s in retrograde!