Where should your star sign spend Christmas? The twelve Astrominals pick their dream festive getaways, from Lapland to a ghost town called Christmas.
Christmas Getaways for Every Star Sign, Picked by the Astrominals Read More »
Buying for an Aquarius (20 January – 18 February) is unpredictable, because an Aquarius is unpredictable. They might love the present. They might love the box more, and turn it into a working model of the solar system.
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Gift Ideas for a Capricorn: 12 Presents, Reviewed by Cap the Goat Looking for gift ideas for a Capricorn? Buying for a Capricorn (22 December – 19 January) is a serious business. A Capricorn won’t judge your present. They’ll assess it. Quietly. Then they’ll use it every day for eleven years, and tell you it was a sound decision. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, planet of hard work and long-term plans. Capricorns set goals, climb towards them and don’t stop until they’re at the top, admiring the view and planning the next mountain. Their Astrominal is Cap the Goat, who wears a chunky knit turtleneck and has never once taken the easy path. We asked Cap to review twelve gift ideas. Cap gave each a score out of ten and a short written report. We’ve summarised. 1. A five-year planner One page per day, five years per book. Cap says: “Year one: preparation. Year two: progress. Years three to five are already written in. In pencil. I’m flexible.” 2. A really good watch Classic, reliable, built to last. Cap says: “Time is the only thing nobody can make more of. So I like to know exactly how much I’ve got left. Of today. Don’t look at me like that.” 3. A day of indoor climbing A wall, a summit, a sense of achievement. Cap says: “Goats were born for this. Other climbers use ropes. I use determination. And also a rope. Health and safety.” 4. A chess set The game of long-term strategy. Cap says: “I’m thinking eight moves ahead. You’re thinking about lunch. That’s fine. I’ve planned for that too.” 5. A leather satchel For carrying important things to important places. Cap says: “It has compartments. Compartments are just ambition with zips.” 6. A biography of someone who made it An inventor, an explorer, a builder of big things. Cap says: “I read biographies backwards. Start at the success. Work out how. Take notes.” 7. A piggy bank A classic, for the sign that understands compound interest at the age of seven. Cap says: “Every coin is a step up the mountain. Small steps. Lots of them. It’s not exciting. That’s why it works.” 8. A framed mountain print A reminder of where they’re headed. Cap says: “I’ve hung it facing my desk. Every morning I look at it, and it looks back, and we both get on with it.” 9. A proper coffee machine Fuel for the early start. A Capricorn’s day begins before yours. Cap says: “I’m up at six. The coffee is up at five fifty-nine. Teamwork.” 10. A cosy turtleneck jumper Smart, warm, and frankly the Cap signature look. Cap says: “It’s practical. It’s professional. It’s also very soft. I’ll deny saying that last part.” 11. A ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign For the Capricorn who’s working on something important. Which is always. Cap says: “Finally. Something that says no on my behalf. Very efficient.” 12. An Astrominals Capricorn birthday card Whatever you choose, put it with a card that gets them. The Astrominals zodiac birthday cards feature Cap climbing an impossible peak, framed by a border of true-to-sign Capricorn traits. Cap says: “Accurate. The peak was impossible. I climbed it. Ten out of ten. I don’t give those out lightly.” Cap’s three rules for buying a Capricorn a present Buy quality. “Buy cheap, buy twice. I’d rather have one thing that lasts than three that don’t.” Make it useful. “If I can’t use it, I’ll admire it. Briefly. Then it goes in a box marked ‘Admired’.” Respect the goal. “Ask me what I’m working on. Then buy something that helps. That’s the best present anyone can give.” So, which present would Cap choose? Cap says: “The five-year planner. I’ve already pencilled in next year’s birthday. I’ll be expecting a watch strap.” Not sure which Astrominal you’re buying for? Take the quiz, or meet Cap the Goat and the rest of Team Earth. Astrological and zoological. Illogically logical.
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The Best Plant for Each Zodiac Sign, Chosen by the Astrominals The Astrominals went to the garden centre for “one small plant each”. They came back with twelve plants, a wheelbarrow, and Arri covered in compost. Here’s the perfect plant for every sign. Aries: Arri’s cactus Tough, spiky and impossible to kill, which matters, because Arri forgets to water anything. He’s charged into it three times. The cactus is fine. Arri is less fine. Taurus: Taur’s tomato plant A plant you can eat? Taur has never loved a plant more. He’s grown 400 tomatoes this year and eaten 398. The other two are being saved for a special occasion. Tonight. Gemini: Gem & Eye’s spider plant It keeps growing little baby plants that dangle off the sides, so one spider plant soon becomes a crowd. Gem & Eye named every single baby, and they chat to all of them. Cancer: Canny’s mother of thousands A plant that grows tiny new plantlets all along its leaves, ready to start families of their own. Canny pots every one of them up and gives them away with a homemade card. Leo: Leo’s sunflower Tall, golden and always turning to face the sun, just like Leo always turns to face the camera. Leo’s sunflower is the tallest in the street. He measures it every morning, then measures himself next to it. Virgo: Virgo’s bonsai tree A tiny tree that needs patient, careful snipping to keep it perfect. Virgo trims one leaf a week, with special scissors, after a lot of thought. The bonsai is flawless. It’s also 1 centimetre tall. Libra: Libby’s flamingo flower A real plant, honestly. It’s pink, it’s elegant and it’s literally named after her. Libby has forty of them, arranged in perfectly balanced pairs. Scorpio: Score’s Venus flytrap Mysterious, snappy and with jaws that close when you least expect it. Score and her Venus flytrap have a lot in common. Mainly, nobody pokes either of them twice. Sagittarius: Sagg’s dandelion Blow on it and the seeds float off on the wind to somewhere new, which is basically Sagg’s whole life. Sagg’s dandelion seeds have now been spotted on three continents. Capricorn: Cap’s oak tree Slow-growing, strong and built to last hundreds of years. Cap planted it as a long-term investment and has a 300-year growth plan pinned to the shed. Aquarius: Aqua’s air plant It doesn’t need soil. It just lives in the air, doing its own thing, which is very Aquarius and very Aqua. She keeps hers in a glass bubble she designed herself, with a tiny weather system inside. Pisces: Pike’s water lily Floating peacefully on the pond, flowering beautifully and not worrying about a thing. Pike spends hours lying underneath it, watching the light come through the leaves. Which Astrominal are you? Whatever your sign, every plant needs light, water and a bit of love. Except Arri’s cactus. That just needs Arri to look where he’s going.
Plants – The best flower/plant for each star sign. Read More »
The Best Exercise for Your Zodiac Sign, Tested by the Astrominals We sent all twelve Astrominals to the leisure centre for a day. Some found their perfect workout. One found the café and never came back. Here’s the best exercise for every sign. Aries: Arri and the obstacle course Running, jumping, climbing, crashing through things. Arri finished the course, then the course next to it, then a wall that wasn’t part of any course. He loved it. Taurus: Taur and weightlifting Steady, strong and, most importantly, you get a rest between every set. Taur’s rests are longer than most people’s holidays. He lifts like a champion, when he’s awake. Gemini: Gem & Eye and tennis Back and forth, back and forth, chatting the whole time. They play each other, which means one of them always wins and they both always celebrate. Cancer: Canny and Pilates at home Why leave a cosy house to exercise? Canny does Pilates in the living room, in slippers, with a pot of soup on the go and the whole family invited. Leo: Leo and a dance class Front row, centre, every week. Leo isn’t there to learn the moves. Leo is there to be watched doing the moves. He’s actually very good, which only makes it worse. Virgo: Virgo and indoor cycling Numbers, numbers, numbers. Speed, distance, heart rate and calories, all tracked, recorded and colour-coded. Virgo sits at the back where nobody can see and quietly beats everyone. Libra: Libby and yoga She’s a flamingo. She’s been doing tree pose on one leg since the day she hatched. The yoga teacher asked Libby to take the class. Scorpio: Score and karate Focused, powerful and very, very calm. Score earned her black belt in record time and has never needed to use it. People just know. Sagittarius: Sagg and hiking Up hills, down valleys, through forests and across rivers, ideally somewhere new every weekend. Sagg doesn’t do the same walk twice. Partly by choice, partly because Sagg never brings a map. Capricorn: Cap and rock climbing Obviously. Cap is a mountain goat. Cap reached the top of the climbing wall before the instructor finished explaining the safety rules, then politely asked if there was a taller wall. Aquarius: Aqua and trampolining Up in the air, seeing the world from above, thinking big thoughts mid-bounce. Aqua is also designing a trampoline that reaches space. Version one reached the ceiling. Pisces: Pike and swimming She’s a fish. It’s not exercise for Pike, it’s just Tuesday. She glides up and down the pool, dreaming, and has no idea how many lengths she’s done. (It’s 400.) Which Astrominal are you? Whatever your sign, the best exercise is the one you’ll actually enjoy. Even if, like Taur, it’s mostly the rest breaks.
Excercise – Choosing the best exercise for your Starsign. Read More »
What Does Christmas Mean to Each Astrominal? Good evening, Ladels and Jellyspoons! Pull a cracker, pop on a paper hat, and let’s find out how each Astrominal does Christmas. Arri – Aries Arri the Rhino (Aries) opened all 24 advent calendar doors before breakfast on 1 December. He doesn’t wrap presents so much as charge at them with a roll of Sellotape. He’s also offered to pull Santa’s sleigh himself, because who needs nine reindeer when you’ve got one rhino and no patience? Taur – Taurus Taur the Bull (Taurus) has had the same Christmas since 2009: same sofa, same film, same tin of chocolates, same paper hat. He’ll keep the peace at the dinner table all day, but take the last roast potato and you’ll see a side of Taur that isn’t on the card. Gem & Eye – Gemini Gem & Eye the Twin Toucans (Gemini) have two beaks, one cracker, and a long argument about who gets the bigger half. They’ve also spent three hours debating whether Rudolph’s nose is really red or just reflecting the fairy lights. They tell every cracker joke twice, once each, in different voices. Canny – Cancer Canny the Crab (Cancer) knows Christmas is all about family. She’s built a gingerbread house big enough for everyone to move into, made a homemade card for every relative, and cried at every advert on telly. She has one quiet grudge: the Three Wise Men travelled all that way and didn’t even stay for pudding. Leo Leo the Lion (Leo) sees every Christmas tree as competition. He’s asked to be the star on top. His presents come wrapped in gold, with a bow bigger than the box and a tag that reads “From Leo (you’re welcome).” Virgo Virgo the Shy Sheep (Virgo) had the lights untangled by November, every bauble labelled, and the ribbon measured to the millimetre. Somehow she still ends up wrapped in tinsel from hoof to ear. When presents are opened, she’s hiding behind the tree, hoping everyone likes hers. Libby – Libra Libby the Flamingo (Libra) leaves Santa homemade cookies and semi-skimmed milk, because the big man’s cholesterol is through the chimney. She’s spent twenty minutes on one leg choosing between two cracker hats, and she’s cut the last mince pie into twelve perfectly equal slivers so nobody falls out. Score – Scorpio Score the Lobster-Scorpion (Scorpio) found everyone’s presents back in October and has said nothing. She’s making a list and checking it twice, because Santa isn’t the only one with a naughty list. She’s also in a frosty staring contest with the snowman in the garden. The snowman is losing. Sagg – Sagittarius Sagg the Zebra (Sagittarius) thinks Christmas is a quest. She’s packed boots, a compass and fourteen different plans to find Santa at the North Pole. She’s also the only Astrominal who already looks like a candy cane. Cap – Capricorn Cap the Goat (Capricorn) has written Santa a performance review. One night, billions of deliveries, and not a single KPI in sight. Good news, Cap: Santa’s hiring a logistics manager. He’s already wearing his green knitted jumper; he just calls it workwear. Aqua – Aquarius Aqua the Pelican (Aquarius) has built a drone to track Santa’s sleigh and is giving everyone gadgets they don’t understand yet. She doesn’t need a stocking, because she’s got a built-in one under her beak. Secretly, she’s hoping for an alien this year. Pike – Pisces Pike the Fish (Pisces) dreams of the perfect Christmas feast, then gives the whole lot to the greatest Christmas miracle of all: a cat in a Santa hat. She’s written it a poem too. So belt out those carols and deck those halls. Whatever your sign, whether you’re a charging rhino or a dreamy fish or anything in between, Christmas makes us all a bit jollier. Merry Christmas from all twelve Astrominals!
Christmas – What does Christmas mean to each of the Astrominal Starsign’s Read More »
What’s the perfect holiday for each of the Astrominal Starsign’s Twelve animals. Twelve star signs. One tragically small office kitchenette. And one very long December. Your star sign doesn’t just decide whether you’re a morning person or why you can’t keep a houseplant alive. It decides how you do Christmas: what you buy, what you secretly expect back, what your tree looks like, and exactly how Christmas Day goes off the rails. The Astrominals have done the research, mostly by accident. Find your sign. Then apologise to your family. Fire Signs Earth Signs Air Signs Water Signs Fire Signs Arri the Rhino (Aries) — The Christmas That Starts in November Gifts: All bought on 1st November in a single fourteen-minute sprint through a shopping centre, using the horn as a trolley. No sizes were checked. Everybody gets a kettlebell. Toys come pre-assembled because the instructions “were slowing him down”, and every box contains three spare screws, which is how you know Arri has built it. Expects to receive: Nothing, technically, because at 11:58pm on Christmas Eve he “just checks one” and then goes through the pile under the tree like a woodchipper with feelings. Decorating: The tree goes up at 6am on 1st December. It goes up quite literally, through the ceiling. “It’s a statement.” The lights are plugged in before they are untangled, and they now form a single glowing knot the size of a family car. The neighbours call it “the comet”. Christmas Day: Dinner is served at 9:15am. The turkey is “rare, it’s fine”. Arri wins every board game by flipping the board, which he records as a victory. By 2pm he is asleep standing up, still wearing an oven glove. Fire Signs Leo the Lion (Leo) — The Christmas Starring Leo Gifts: Expensive, enormous and gold. The bow is bigger than the box. The box is bigger than the car. Inside it, a framed portrait of Leo. You will hang it. He will check. Expects to receive: Admiration, wrapped. A standing ovation every time he enters a room. He is quietly furious with the Christmas tree for getting so much attention, and has been known to stand next to it, slightly in front, at an angle. Decorating: Lights visible from space. A thirty-foot inflatable Leo on the front lawn, waving. There is no star on top of his tree. There is Leo on top of his tree. Christmas Day: At 3pm he delivers his own Christmas Day Address to the household, with a teleprompter. He puts on the paper crown from the cracker and genuinely does not take it off until mid-February. He wins the Christmas Jumper Competition that he organised, judged and sponsored. Fire Signs Sagg the Zebra (Sagittarius) — The Christmas in Three Time Zones Gifts: Experiences, never objects. A skydiving voucher for Gran. A camel ride. A ticket to somewhere nobody in the family has the right passport for. All bought at the airport on Christmas Eve and wrapped, partially, in a map. Expects to receive: Anything except socks. Socks are a cage. Socks are a fence for your feet. Decorating: Doesn’t, technically. Sagg’s decorations are a single string of fairy lights wrapped around a backpack, plus a tiny tree in every country visited this year. The stripes get a festive upgrade too: one silver, one black, one silver, one black. Christmas Day: Three Christmas dinners in three different time zones. Arrives late with a brilliant story, leaves early for a better one. Invents new rules halfway through every board game, and somehow they’re more fun. Every adventure, sadly, is spoiled by Sagg not reading the small print, which is how Christmas 2024 was spent in a Norwegian sheep shed. Earth Signs Taur the Bull (Taurus) — The Christmas That Has Not Changed For Many, Many Years Gifts: Expensive. Gloriously, irresponsibly expensive. Cashmere socks. A candle that smells of “log fire and old money”. A hamper so heavy it has to be delivered by forklift. Taur believes a gift should be something you can touch, taste or sit on, ideally all three. He also buys everyone the same present every year, because he got it right in 2014 and why would you change a winning recipe? Expects to receive: Exactly what he got last year. If you deviate, he says “Lovely” in a voice that drops the room temperature by four degrees. Decorating: The same decorations, in the same spots, since 1997. Positions are measured from the skirting board. A new bauble was introduced in 2019. Nobody saw it leave. Nobody asks. Christmas Day: Lunch has been planned since August. Eating begins at 1pm and continues, uninterrupted, until 9pm, like a box set made of gravy. The after-dinner nap is not a nap; it is a seasonal hibernation. Do not move his armchair. The armchair has a dent. The dent is his. Earth Signs Virgo the Shy Sheep (Virgo) — The Christmas on a Spreadsheet Gifts: Bought in July. Tracked on a colour-coded spreadsheet with tabs. Deeply practical: a label maker, a properly good tin opener, a drawer organiser for your drawer organiser. Every gift has a gift receipt, and the gift receipt has a gift receipt. Wrapping is done with hospital corners and Sellotape cut to the exact millimetre. Expects to receive: “Nothing, honestly.” She means it. But, very privately, she would love it if someone noticed the wrapping. Decorating: Baubles spaced at equal intervals, checked with a ruler. If one bulb goes out, the whole evening is lost. Tinsel is chaos. Tinsel is banned. Fallen pine needles are hoovered on the hour. Christmas Day: Dinner runs on a Gantt chart. The roast potatoes are timed to the second. She quietly refolds everyone’s napkins while they’re in the loo. At 11pm she is discovered alone in the kitchen, sorting the chocolate tin by colour, at peace for the first time all year. Earth Signs Cap the Goat (Capricorn) — The Christmas With a Business Plan Gifts: Value for
The perfect holiday destination for each of the Astrominal Starsigns Read More »
The Dream Home for Each Zodiac Sign, Picked by the Astrominals Welcome to Astrominal Estates, the only estate agent in the zodiac. Our motto: “Location, location, constellation.” Here’s the dream home for every sign. Aries: Arri’s castle on top of a volcano The highest spot, the best view and a moat that occasionally turns into lava. Arri calls it a pool party. Arrive early. Arri will have already started. Taurus: Taur’s underground burrow Cosy, round, deep underground and fitted with a snack bar in every room. The armchair is built into the wall, so nobody can move it. Not even Taur. Especially not Taur. Gemini: Gem & Eye’s treehouse duplex Two treehouses joined by a rope bridge, one for each twin. They never use the separate halves. They’re always on the bridge, talking. Cancer: Canny’s cottage by the sea A little house by the rock pools, with a kettle always on, a spare room always made up, and a front door that’s never locked. It’s so cosy that visitors come for tea and stay a fortnight. Leo: Leo’s mansion in the hills A red carpet up the drive, a mirror in every room and a machine that plays applause whenever he walks through the front door. The gates are gold. So is the doorbell. It plays his name. Virgo: Virgo’s spotless minimalist house White walls, clear surfaces, everything in its place. It’s so clean even the dust gives up and moves next door. Virgo still dusts it twice a day, just in case. Libra: Libby’s pink houseboat The perfect balance of land, water and sky, all in shades of pink. She spent six months choosing the cushions. She chose all of them. Scorpio: Score’s secret cave You can only get in through an underwater tunnel, so it’s lucky Score always wears her diving helmet. Nobody knows exactly where it is. Score likes it that way. Sagittarius: Sagg’s camper van Why live in one place when you can live in all of them? Sagg’s home has wheels, a roof tent and stickers from 41 countries. The postman has given up. Capricorn: Cap’s cabin on a mountain top After a lifetime of climbing mountains, Cap decided to own one. The log cabin is solar-powered, perfectly insulated and costed to the penny. Visitors need climbing boots. Aquarius: Aqua’s lighthouse laboratory A lighthouse by the sea, with a lab at every level and a telescope at the top. The light still works, but these days it mostly flashes her inventions’ test results in Morse code. Pisces: Pike’s cottage at the bottom of a lake Full of fairy lights, seashells, and paintings she hasn’t finished. Fish swim past the windows, and Pike waves at every one of them. Which Astrominal are you? Whatever your sign, home is wherever your favourite people are. Even if they’ve parked a camper van on your drive.
The Perfect Car for Each Zodiac Sign, Chosen by the Astrominals The Astrominals went to a car showroom together. The salesperson has since taken up gardening. Here’s the car every sign drove home in. Aries Starting with fiery Aries, they’d zoom around in something bold, like a bright red Ferrari. Sleek, fast, represents their impulsive nature perfectly! If it catches fire, even better – it matches their hair they dyed on a whim last Tuesday! Taurus Next, we have the practical Taurus. Good ol’ Bull needs stability; their ideal ride is a Pickup truck. Safe, strong and very practical just like them. Watch out for road rage though; if you anger them, they might just challenge your Ferrari to a bullfight! Gemini Then comes Gemini. For these chatterboxes on wheels, we need a hatchback with an inbuilt espresso machine and Wi-Fi, as they like to multitask. Geminis always want to go in two directions at once, so maybe we need to invent a two-front-ended car for them? Or maybe a dual control car like Driving Instructors have? Cancer Cancer, the homebody of theAstrominals, would choose a huge luxury RV. Their ‘home on wheels’ stuffed full of comfort items like fluffy pillows, and family photo frames. Remember folks, you can take a Cancer out of their home, but you can never take the home out of a Cancer. Leo Leos, the big cats, need something regal to parade around in. A Rolls-Royce Phantom fits perfectly, preferably in gold, because everything they touch or drive needs to shine like their personality. Virgo Virgos, they’re all about environment and practicality, so an efficient hybrid vehicle for these Earth signs. Charging stations will be marked on their meticulously planned GPS maps, with a reserved parking spot next to the organic fruit stand. Libra Waving to the Libra! They need something balanced and sleek. A sleek Mercedes suits them. One that can impress their significant other, and confuse their ex. Win-win! Scorpio Scorpios are the enigmatic ones. They don’t just drive – they have a mission! A black, tinted-window SUV for them. Behind those dark glasses, they’re probably just heading for a grocery run, but they love giving off the vibe that they’re about to save the world. Sagittarius Then comes the Sagittarius, the globetrotting adventurer. A tricked out VW Camper van with the latest GPS Sea Nav, surf board on the roof, archery target on the back and sporting stickers from all the countries they’ve visited on their travels. They may wander, they may roam, but lost? Never! Capricorn Capricorns need something to reflect their steady, success-oriented nature. Give them a vintage Land Rover – rugged and reliable, built on tradition and built to last. They’d probably set the accelerator to limit it at exactly the speed limit – rule followers, these goats! Aquarius Ah, Aquarius, the eccentric intellectual. How about a state-of-the-art electric solar powered hover car They’re living in 2050 while we’re stuck here trying to convince Geminis that two-front-ended cars don’t exist…yet! Pisces Last but never least, the dreamy Pisces. For them, they’ve gone for a VW like Aqua, but this time it’s the classic Beetle. A bit quirky, and it doesn’t look that different to their Fish bowl. But with a half-done custom-painted psychedelic sixties vibes that they started but got distracted from…“Oh look, is that a cat wearing glasses? I had a dream that I was riding a unicorn last night” Aries: Arri’s bright red sports car Fast, loud and red. Arri tested it by driving straight out of the showroom without opening the doors. The showroom now has a rhino-shaped hole. Arri paid for the car and the wall. Taurus: Taur’s big comfy pickup truck Strong, steady and with a seat so comfy Taur has fallen asleep in it twice. The back is full of snacks. The cab is full of more snacks. Gemini: Gem & Eye’s car with two steering wheels Like a driving instructor’s car, but both twins drive at once. It goes wherever they agree to go, which is usually round the roundabout eleven times while they discuss it. Cancer: Canny’s motorhome A home on wheels, with a kitchen, a cosy bed, family photos on every wall and a kettle that’s always on. Canny never needs to leave home, because home comes too. Leo: Leo’s golden limousine A red carpet unrolls when the door opens, and the horn plays a fanfare. It’s very long. It’s very gold. It’s very Leo. Virgo: Virgo’s spotless electric car Quiet, efficient and so clean it sparkles. Virgo has a little hoover for the floor, a cloth for the dashboard and a laminated card with the tyre pressures on it. Libra: Libby’s pink convertible Elegant, perfectly balanced and the exact shade of a flamingo. She drives with the roof down so her feathers float in the breeze. She spent a month choosing the colour. It was always going to be pink. Scorpio: Score’s black car with tinted windows Nobody can see in. Score is usually just popping to the shops, but it looks like she’s on a top-secret mission. That’s the point. Sagittarius: Sagg’s camper van Surfboard on the roof, stickers from every country, and a map in the glovebox that’s never been unfolded. Sagg drove off the forecourt and hasn’t been seen since. Postcards suggest Portugal. Capricorn: Cap’s sensible off-roader Rugged, reliable and built for climbing mountains. Cap reads the whole manual, sets the speed limiter to exactly the speed limit and keeps a logbook of every journey. Aquarius: Aqua’s solar-powered hover car She built it herself in the lighthouse. It flies, runs on sunshine and talks back. It’s mostly fine, except for the time it hovered to Norway without her. Pisces: Pike’s half-painted Beetle A classic Beetle that Pike started painting with swirly rainbow patterns, then got distracted by a cloud halfway through. One side is a masterpiece. The other side is still beige. Which Astrominal are you? Whatever your sign, buckle up and enjoy the
Cars – What’s the most suitable car for each Astrominal Starsign? Read More »
Zodiac Signs as Superheroes: Which Hero Is Your Astrominal? The Astrominals held auditions for a superhero team. Everyone got in, mainly because Libby was on the judging panel and couldn’t bear to say no. Here’s the hero behind every sign. Aries: Arri is the Hulk Big, strong and charges first, thinks later. Arri doesn’t need a gamma ray to get green and grumpy, just a slow queue. His catchphrase is “Arri smash!”, and he usually does. Taurus: Taur is Groot A gentle giant of very few words, and those words are mostly “Mm.” Taur is calm, loyal and impossible to move once he’s planted himself, just like a tree. Gemini: Gem & Eye are Spider-Man Swinging about, cracking jokes and never, ever stopping talking, even mid-fight. They’d make a brilliant Spider-Man. They’d also argue about who gets to wear the mask. Cancer: Canny is Elastigirl The superhero whose real superpower is looking after the whole family. Canny can stretch to make tea, pack lunches and give hugs all at the same time. Leo: Leo is Thor The flowing mane, the dramatic entrances, the thunder that follows him everywhere. Leo has also started carrying a hammer, mainly so he can hold it up in photos. Virgo: Virgo is Ant-Man The hero who saves the day by getting small and sorting out the tiny details nobody else noticed. Virgo especially loves the bit where nobody can see you. Libra: Libby is Black Panther A wise and fair ruler who keeps the whole kingdom in balance. Libby’s version is pinker, and every decision takes a little longer, but it’s always fair. Scorpio: Score is Batman Dark, secretive, a brilliant detective with a gadget for everything. Score already has the cave. She also has a diving helmet, which Batman doesn’t, so she says she wins. Sagittarius: Sagg is Superman Flying around the world, saving the day and always believing everything will work out. Sagg has only one weakness, and it isn’t kryptonite. It’s staying in one place. Capricorn: Cap is Captain America The name’s half right already. Disciplined, dependable and always has a plan. Cap’s shield has a to-do list printed on the back. Aquarius: Aqua is Iron Man Why wait for superpowers when you can invent your own? Aqua has built twelve super-suits so far. One folds into her pouch. One is slightly damp. Pisces: Pike is Aquaman A hero of the sea who talks to fish. Pike doesn’t need the trident. She just asks the fish nicely, and they’re always happy to help. Which Astrominal are you? Whatever your sign, you’ve got a superpower of your own. Unless you’re Taur, whose superpower is the nap. That still counts.
Superhero- What’s your Astrominal Starsign Superhero? Read More »