The Best Exercise for Your Zodiac Sign, Tested by the Astrominals
We sent all twelve Astrominals to the leisure centre for a day. Some found their perfect workout. One found the café and never came back. Here’s the best exercise for every sign.
Aries: Arri and the obstacle course
Running, jumping, climbing, crashing through things. Arri finished the course, then the course next to it, then a wall that wasn’t part of any course. He loved it.
Taurus: Taur and weightlifting
Steady, strong and, most importantly, you get a rest between every set. Taur’s rests are longer than most people’s holidays. He lifts like a champion, when he’s awake.
Gemini: Gem & Eye and tennis
Back and forth, back and forth, chatting the whole time. They play each other, which means one of them always wins and they both always celebrate.
Cancer: Canny and Pilates at home
Why leave a cosy house to exercise? Canny does Pilates in the living room, in slippers, with a pot of soup on the go and the whole family invited.
Leo: Leo and a dance class
Front row, centre, every week. Leo isn’t there to learn the moves. Leo is there to be watched doing the moves. He’s actually very good, which only makes it worse.
Virgo: Virgo and indoor cycling
Numbers, numbers, numbers. Speed, distance, heart rate and calories, all tracked, recorded and colour-coded. Virgo sits at the back where nobody can see and quietly beats everyone.
Libra: Libby and yoga
She’s a flamingo. She’s been doing tree pose on one leg since the day she hatched. The yoga teacher asked Libby to take the class.
Scorpio: Score and karate
Focused, powerful and very, very calm. Score earned her black belt in record time and has never needed to use it. People just know.
Sagittarius: Sagg and hiking
Up hills, down valleys, through forests and across rivers, ideally somewhere new every weekend. Sagg doesn’t do the same walk twice. Partly by choice, partly because Sagg never brings a map.
Capricorn: Cap and rock climbing
Obviously. Cap is a mountain goat. Cap reached the top of the climbing wall before the instructor finished explaining the safety rules, then politely asked if there was a taller wall.
Aquarius: Aqua and trampolining
Up in the air, seeing the world from above, thinking big thoughts mid-bounce. Aqua is also designing a trampoline that reaches space. Version one reached the ceiling.
Pisces: Pike and swimming
She’s a fish. It’s not exercise for Pike, it’s just Tuesday. She glides up and down the pool, dreaming, and has no idea how many lengths she’s done. (It’s 400.)
Which Astrominal are you? Whatever your sign, the best exercise is the one you’ll actually enjoy. Even if, like Taur, it’s mostly the rest breaks.