The Astrominals

Astro

Gift Ideas for a Gemini

  Gift Ideas for a Gemini: 12 Presents, Reviewed by Gem & Eye the Toucans Looking for gift ideas for a Gemini? Buying for a Gemini (21 May – 20 June) means buying for someone curious about everything. They’ll love your present. They’ll also love the box it came in, the story of where you bought it, and a fact about cardboard they read last Tuesday. Gemini is ruled by Mercury, planet of talking, thinking and talking about thinking. Its symbol is the Twins, so its Astrominal is two characters: Gem & Eye, a pair of toucans who finish each other’s sentences, and occasionally start each other’s. We asked them to review twelve gifts. We got roughly forty opinions. 1. A pair of walkie-talkies For the sign that’s never off the phone, a phone that’s twice as fun. Gem: “Over.” Eye: “You don’t say ‘over’ after every—” Gem: “Over.” 2. A giant book of facts Geminis collect facts the way other people collect stamps. Eye: “Did you know a group of flamingos is called a flamboyance?” Gem: “Libby told us. Libby’s told everyone. Libby had it printed on a mug.” 3. A two-player game Chess, battleships, anything with a rematch built in. Gem: “Best of three.” Eye: “Best of five.” Gem: “Best of whoever’s winning.” 4. A podcast microphone A Gemini already has a lot to say. Give them a way to say it to more people. Eye: “Episode one: ‘Things We Noticed Today.’” Gem: “It’s going to be a long episode.” 5. A magazine subscription Something new arriving every month: the perfect pace for a Gemini attention span. Gem: “We’ll read every page.” Eye: “We’ll read the first page of every article.” Gem: “Same thing.” 6. Tickets to a comedy show Geminis love quick wit, and they’ll repeat the best lines for a month. Eye: “We’ll do the whole show again for you in the car.” Gem: “Both parts.” 7. A language-learning course A new language means new words, new jokes and new people to talk to. Gem: “We’re learning Spanish.” Eye: “And Italian.” Gem: “At the same time. It’s going brilliantly. Mostly.” 8. A puzzle book Crosswords, riddles, logic grids: a workout for the busiest brain in the zodiac. Eye: “I do the across.” Gem: “I do the down.” Eye: “We meet in the middle and argue.” 9. Matching mugs One gift, two personalities. Gem: “Mine says Gem.” Eye: “Mine says Eye.” Gem: “We swap them every morning to keep things interesting.” 10. A clever little gadget Anything that lights up, folds out or does something unexpected. Eye: “What does this button do?” Gem: “Don’t press—” Eye: “Well, now we know.” 11. A day trip somewhere new A city they haven’t explored, a museum they haven’t been round. Gem: “New place, new people, new facts.” Eye: “New snacks.” Gem: “Mainly new snacks.” 12. An Astrominals Gemini birthday card Whatever you choose, put it with a card that gets them. The Astrominals zodiac birthday cards feature Gem & Eye as DJs, framed by a border of true-to-sign Gemini traits. Eye: “That’s us!” Gem: “That’s mostly me.” Eye: “It’s exactly half each.” Gem: “I’ve got the better half.” Gem & Eye’s three rules for buying a Gemini a present Make it interesting. Gem: “Anything boring, we’ll re-gift.” Eye: “Politely.” Keep it moving. Eye: “We like new things.” Gem: “And then newer things.” Buy for both. Gem: “Every Gemini has two sides.” Eye: “Ours just have separate beaks.” So, which present would Gem & Eye choose for themselves? Gem: “The walkie-talkies.” Eye: “The comedy tickets.” Gem: “Both.” Eye: “Over.” Not sure which Astrominal you’re buying for? Take the quiz, or meet Gem & Eye the Toucans and the rest of Team Air. Astrological and zoological. Illogically logical.

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Gift Ideas for a Taurus

Gift Ideas for a Taurus: 12 Presents, Reviewed by Taur the Bull Looking for gift ideas for a Taurus? A Taurus (20 April – 20 May) knows what they like. They have liked it for years. They will go on liking it, calmly and completely, long after everyone else has moved on to something new. So the trick with a Taurus present is not surprise. It’s quality. Taurus is ruled by Venus, planet of comfort and pleasure, and the Taurus idea of a great day involves a soft chair, a good snack and nobody asking them to move. We asked Taur the Bull, the Taurus Astrominal, to review twelve gifts. He took his time. He’d like that noted. He took exactly the right amount of time. 1. Really, really good slippers Not novelty ones. Proper ones, with soles and sheepskin. Taur says: “These are going on now. I’ll take them off in about three years.” 2. A hamper of nice food Cheeses, crackers, chutney, chocolate, a jar of something you can’t pronounce. Taur says: “I don’t share my hamper. I’ll let you look at my hamper. That’s generous, for a bull.” 3. A cookbook from their favourite restaurant A Taurus will cook every recipe, in order, and then go back to the one they liked best. Taur says: “Page 47. I’ve found my lasagne. The other 200 pages are lovely. I won’t be needing them.” 4. A weighted blanket Like a hug, but it doesn’t want to talk. Taur says: “I’m under it now. I live here now. Please forward my post.” 5. A proper mug Heavy, handmade, holds exactly the right amount of tea. Taur says: “This is my mug. If anyone else uses my mug, I’ll know. I won’t say anything. I’ll just know.” 6. A herb garden kit Earth signs like growing things, and Taurus likes eating the things they’ve grown. Taur says: “Basil, mint and patience. I’ve got loads of patience. The basil’s going to have to keep up.” 7. A bakery subscription Fresh bread or pastries, delivered regularly. Taur says: “Regularly. That’s my favourite word. After ‘croissant’.” 8. Luxury hand cream Taurus notices textures, smells and quality. Cheap stuff gets found out. Taur says: “It smells like a garden that’s been told it’s doing very well.” 9. Cosy pyjamas, in purple Purple is the Taurus lucky colour. Pyjamas are the Taurus lucky outfit. Taur says: “Daywear, nightwear. I don’t see why it has to be two different things.” 10. A classic record on vinyl An old favourite, not something new and confusing. Taur says: “I already know every word. That’s the point. Why would I listen to music I don’t know? It might change.” 11. A gardening day with no deadline Tools, a sunny afternoon, and nobody rushing them. Taur says: “Dig a bit. Sit a bit. Have a biscuit. Dig a bit more. That’s gardening. Anyone who says it’s faster than that is selling something.” 12. An Astrominals Taurus birthday card Put your present with a card that understands them. The Astrominals zodiac birthday cards feature Taur himself, surrounded by luxury and comfort, framed by a border of true-to-sign Taurus traits. Taur says: “That’s me in my favourite chair. I didn’t pose. I was just there. I’m usually there.” Taur’s three rules for buying a Taurus a present Quality over quantity. “One good thing beats five cheap things. Five good things beats one good thing. I’m not unreasonable.” Don’t surprise them. “I like surprises I already know about.” Food always counts. “If you’re not sure, bring cake. Nobody has ever regretted bringing cake to a Taurus.” So, which present would Taur choose for himself? Taur says: “I’ll have the slippers, the blanket and the hamper. I’ll decide about the rest from the sofa. Don’t wait up.” Not sure which Astrominal you’re buying for? Take the quiz, or meet Taur the Bull and the rest of Team Earth. Astrological and zoological. Illogically logical.

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Gift ideas for an Aries

  Gift Ideas for an Aries: 12 Presents, Reviewed by Arri the Rhino Looking for gift ideas for an Aries? Buying for an Aries (21 March – 19 April) is simple. Get them something exciting, and get it to them fast. An Aries who has to wait for their present is an Aries already wondering if they should go and buy it themselves. We asked Arri the Rhino, the Aries Astrominal, to review twelve gift ideas. He agreed before we’d finished the question. He’d reviewed three of them before we’d finished the list. 1. A gift bag, not wrapping paper The first gift is the packaging. Aries do not peel tape carefully. Arri says: “Bag. Good. Hand in, present out, done. Paper is just a wall between me and my stuff.” 2. A really good pair of trainers Aries are always on their way somewhere, usually at speed. Arri says: “Are they fast? They look fast. I’ll find out on the way home. I won’t be walking.” 3. Go-karting A track, a helmet and other people to overtake. Arri says: “I don’t need to win. I just need to be in front the whole time. That’s different.” 4. An indoor climbing session A wall, a goal at the top, and no queue for the lift. Arri says: “Someone said ‘plan your route’. I planned it. The route is UP.” 5. A stopwatch Aries love a challenge, especially one with a number on it. Arri says: “Now I can time everything. How fast I eat breakfast. How fast I tie my shoes. How long you take to answer a question. Too long, usually.” 6. A red hoodie Red is the Aries lucky colour, and it hides a lot of mud. Arri says: “Red is the colour of GO. I’ve never seen a red that said ‘maybe later’.” 7. A seriously spicy hot sauce set Aries are ruled by Mars, the fiery planet. They like their food to fight back. Arri says: “The label says start with one drop. I respect the label. I disagree with the label.” 8. A fast-paced card game Anything with the word “snap” or “speed” in it. Arri says: “Board games are fine if they’re quick. If there’s a rulebook thicker than my horn, I’m making up my own rules.” 9. A scooter or skateboard Wheels. That’s the whole pitch. Arri says: “Comes with a helmet? Good. I’ll wear the helmet. I am brave, not daft.” 10. A self-assembly kit A model, a robot, a flat-pack anything. Arri says: “There are instructions? Interesting. I’ll look at them after I’ve finished. If there are pieces left over, those were spares.” 11. A Yes Day One day where they’re in charge of the plan. Arri says: “Breakfast at seven. Football at eight. Climbing at nine. Lunch is a sandwich we eat while running. You’re welcome.” 12. An Astrominals Aries birthday card Whatever else you give them, put it with a card that gets them. The Astrominals zodiac birthday cards feature Arri himself, in full action-hero mode, framed by a border of true-to-sign Aries traits. Arri says: “I’ve already opened it. Sorry. It’s very good. It’s me, so obviously.” Arri’s three rules for buying an Aries a present Don’t make them wait. “Early is good. On time is fine. Late is a crime.” Make it exciting. “Socks are not a present. Socks are what you wear on the way to the present.” Let them go first. “Whatever it is, I want to try it before anyone else. That’s not greedy. That’s leadership.” So, which present would Arri choose for himself? Arri says: “All of them. In order. Starting now. Why are you still reading this?” Not sure which Astrominal you’re buying for? Take the quiz, or meet Arri the Rhino and the rest of Team Fire. Astrological and zoological. Illogically logical.

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Gift ideas for a Pisces

Gift Ideas for a Pisces: 12 Presents, Reviewed by Pike the Pike Looking for gift ideas for a Pisces? Buying for a Pisces (19 February – 20 March) is a lovely thing to do, because a Pisces will feel your present as much as open it. They’ll understand what you meant by it. Sometimes they’ll understand things you didn’t know you meant. Pisces is ruled by Neptune, planet of dreams, imagination and the deep blue sea. Pisceans are gentle, kind and creative, and they live partly in this world and partly in a much more interesting one. Their Astrominal is Pike the Pike, who plays the saxophone, paints in her head and occasionally swims off mid-sentence. We asked Pike to review twelve gift ideas. It took a while. Not because she was slow. Because she kept seeing pictures in the clouds. 1. A sketchbook and good pencils Somewhere for all those daydreams to land. Pike says: “I drew a fish. Then the fish turned into a cloud. Then the cloud turned into a song. I’ve no idea what the sketchbook thinks.” 2. A ukulele An easy instrument for a musical soul. Pike says: “Four strings. Very sensible. I usually play the saxophone, but this one fits in a rucksack, and the neighbours seem happier.” 3. A book of poems Short, beautiful, and best read slowly by a window. Pike says: “I read one poem. Then I looked out of the window for an hour. That’s the right way to read a poem.” 4. An ocean sounds machine Waves, rain, distant whales: the soundtrack of home. Pike says: “Oh, that’s the deep bit near the reef. I’d know that hum anywhere. I’ve gone a bit misty-eyed. It’s fine. I’m a fish. Nobody can tell.” 5. A trip to an aquarium A day out among the relatives. Pike says: “That’s my auntie behind the glass. She doesn’t wave. She’s very shy. And also behind glass.” 6. Fairy lights A little soft magic for the bedroom ceiling. Pike says: “Now my room looks like the inside of a daydream. Which saves me a journey.” 7. A dream journal For writing down last night’s adventures before they swim away. Pike says: “Last night I was a lighthouse. A lonely lighthouse, but a happy one. Write that down. I’ve already forgotten it.” 8. A watercolour paint set For colours that blend into each other, like everything a Pisces feels. Pike says: “I don’t paint lines. Lines are for maps. I paint feelings that happen to be blue.” 9. A movie night with a big soppy film Blankets, snacks and a story that needs tissues. Pike says: “I cried at the beginning, the middle and the end. Also at the adverts. That’s how you know it’s a good night.” 10. A sea-glass necklace A small piece of the ocean, smoothed by a long journey. Pike says: “It’s been tumbling around in the sea for years, getting gentler. I relate to that.” 11. A cosy, oversized hoodie For floating around the house and pretending to be a jellyfish. Pike says: “Hood up. Sleeves down. Totally invisible. That’s not hiding. That’s resting in plain sight.” 12. An Astrominals Pisces birthday card Whatever you choose, put it with a card that gets them. The Astrominals zodiac birthday cards feature Pike as an artist lost in her work, framed by a border of true-to-sign Pisces traits. Pike says: “That’s me painting. I don’t remember sitting for it. I’m often somewhere else when things happen.” Pike’s three rules for buying a Pisces a present Make it feel like something. “I don’t mind what it costs. I mind what it means.” Leave room for imagining. “Give me a blank page, a song, a story. I’ll do the rest. Possibly at three in the morning.” Be gentle. “No loud surprises, please. A quiet surprise is perfect. A quiet surprise with a biscuit is perfect-er.” So, which present would Pike choose for herself? Pike says: “The dream journal. Then tonight I’ll dream about the other eleven. That’s the same as having them, if you ask me. Which you did.” Not sure which Astrominal you’re buying for? Take the quiz, or meet Pike the Pike and the rest of Team Water. Astrological and zoological. Illogically logical.

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Gift ideas for a Capricorn

Gift Ideas for a Capricorn: 12 Presents, Reviewed by Cap the Goat Looking for gift ideas for a Capricorn? Buying for a Capricorn (22 December – 19 January) is a serious business. A Capricorn won’t judge your present. They’ll assess it. Quietly. Then they’ll use it every day for eleven years, and tell you it was a sound decision. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, planet of hard work and long-term plans. Capricorns set goals, climb towards them and don’t stop until they’re at the top, admiring the view and planning the next mountain. Their Astrominal is Cap the Goat, who wears a chunky knit turtleneck and has never once taken the easy path. We asked Cap to review twelve gift ideas. Cap gave each a score out of ten and a short written report. We’ve summarised. 1. A five-year planner One page per day, five years per book. Cap says: “Year one: preparation. Year two: progress. Years three to five are already written in. In pencil. I’m flexible.” 2. A really good watch Classic, reliable, built to last. Cap says: “Time is the only thing nobody can make more of. So I like to know exactly how much I’ve got left. Of today. Don’t look at me like that.” 3. A day of indoor climbing A wall, a summit, a sense of achievement. Cap says: “Goats were born for this. Other climbers use ropes. I use determination. And also a rope. Health and safety.” 4. A chess set The game of long-term strategy. Cap says: “I’m thinking eight moves ahead. You’re thinking about lunch. That’s fine. I’ve planned for that too.” 5. A leather satchel For carrying important things to important places. Cap says: “It has compartments. Compartments are just ambition with zips.” 6. A biography of someone who made it An inventor, an explorer, a builder of big things. Cap says: “I read biographies backwards. Start at the success. Work out how. Take notes.” 7. A piggy bank A classic, for the sign that understands compound interest at the age of seven. Cap says: “Every coin is a step up the mountain. Small steps. Lots of them. It’s not exciting. That’s why it works.” 8. A framed mountain print A reminder of where they’re headed. Cap says: “I’ve hung it facing my desk. Every morning I look at it, and it looks back, and we both get on with it.” 9. A proper coffee machine Fuel for the early start. A Capricorn’s day begins before yours. Cap says: “I’m up at six. The coffee is up at five fifty-nine. Teamwork.” 10. A cosy turtleneck jumper Smart, warm, and frankly the Cap signature look. Cap says: “It’s practical. It’s professional. It’s also very soft. I’ll deny saying that last part.” 11. A ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign For the Capricorn who’s working on something important. Which is always. Cap says: “Finally. Something that says no on my behalf. Very efficient.” 12. An Astrominals Capricorn birthday card Whatever you choose, put it with a card that gets them. The Astrominals zodiac birthday cards feature Cap climbing an impossible peak, framed by a border of true-to-sign Capricorn traits. Cap says: “Accurate. The peak was impossible. I climbed it. Ten out of ten. I don’t give those out lightly.” Cap’s three rules for buying a Capricorn a present Buy quality. “Buy cheap, buy twice. I’d rather have one thing that lasts than three that don’t.” Make it useful. “If I can’t use it, I’ll admire it. Briefly. Then it goes in a box marked ‘Admired’.” Respect the goal. “Ask me what I’m working on. Then buy something that helps. That’s the best present anyone can give.” So, which present would Cap choose? Cap says: “The five-year planner. I’ve already pencilled in next year’s birthday. I’ll be expecting a watch strap.” Not sure which Astrominal you’re buying for? Take the quiz, or meet Cap the Goat and the rest of Team Earth. Astrological and zoological. Illogically logical.

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Plants – The best flower/plant for each star sign.

    The Best Plant for Each Zodiac Sign, Chosen by the Astrominals The Astrominals went to the garden centre for “one small plant each”. They came back with twelve plants, a wheelbarrow, and Arri covered in compost. Here’s the perfect plant for every sign. Aries: Arri’s cactus Tough, spiky and impossible to kill, which matters, because Arri forgets to water anything. He’s charged into it three times. The cactus is fine. Arri is less fine. Taurus: Taur’s tomato plant A plant you can eat? Taur has never loved a plant more. He’s grown 400 tomatoes this year and eaten 398. The other two are being saved for a special occasion. Tonight. Gemini: Gem & Eye’s spider plant It keeps growing little baby plants that dangle off the sides, so one spider plant soon becomes a crowd. Gem & Eye named every single baby, and they chat to all of them. Cancer: Canny’s mother of thousands A plant that grows tiny new plantlets all along its leaves, ready to start families of their own. Canny pots every one of them up and gives them away with a homemade card. Leo: Leo’s sunflower Tall, golden and always turning to face the sun, just like Leo always turns to face the camera. Leo’s sunflower is the tallest in the street. He measures it every morning, then measures himself next to it. Virgo: Virgo’s bonsai tree A tiny tree that needs patient, careful snipping to keep it perfect. Virgo trims one leaf a week, with special scissors, after a lot of thought. The bonsai is flawless. It’s also 1 centimetre tall. Libra: Libby’s flamingo flower A real plant, honestly. It’s pink, it’s elegant and it’s literally named after her. Libby has forty of them, arranged in perfectly balanced pairs. Scorpio: Score’s Venus flytrap Mysterious, snappy and with jaws that close when you least expect it. Score and her Venus flytrap have a lot in common. Mainly, nobody pokes either of them twice. Sagittarius: Sagg’s dandelion Blow on it and the seeds float off on the wind to somewhere new, which is basically Sagg’s whole life. Sagg’s dandelion seeds have now been spotted on three continents. Capricorn: Cap’s oak tree Slow-growing, strong and built to last hundreds of years. Cap planted it as a long-term investment and has a 300-year growth plan pinned to the shed. Aquarius: Aqua’s air plant It doesn’t need soil. It just lives in the air, doing its own thing, which is very Aquarius and very Aqua. She keeps hers in a glass bubble she designed herself, with a tiny weather system inside. Pisces: Pike’s water lily Floating peacefully on the pond, flowering beautifully and not worrying about a thing. Pike spends hours lying underneath it, watching the light come through the leaves. Which Astrominal are you? Whatever your sign, every plant needs light, water and a bit of love. Except Arri’s cactus. That just needs Arri to look where he’s going.

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Excercise – Choosing the best exercise for your Starsign.

    The Best Exercise for Your Zodiac Sign, Tested by the Astrominals We sent all twelve Astrominals to the leisure centre for a day. Some found their perfect workout. One found the café and never came back. Here’s the best exercise for every sign. Aries: Arri and the obstacle course Running, jumping, climbing, crashing through things. Arri finished the course, then the course next to it, then a wall that wasn’t part of any course. He loved it. Taurus: Taur and weightlifting Steady, strong and, most importantly, you get a rest between every set. Taur’s rests are longer than most people’s holidays. He lifts like a champion, when he’s awake. Gemini: Gem & Eye and tennis Back and forth, back and forth, chatting the whole time. They play each other, which means one of them always wins and they both always celebrate. Cancer: Canny and Pilates at home Why leave a cosy house to exercise? Canny does Pilates in the living room, in slippers, with a pot of soup on the go and the whole family invited. Leo: Leo and a dance class Front row, centre, every week. Leo isn’t there to learn the moves. Leo is there to be watched doing the moves. He’s actually very good, which only makes it worse. Virgo: Virgo and indoor cycling Numbers, numbers, numbers. Speed, distance, heart rate and calories, all tracked, recorded and colour-coded. Virgo sits at the back where nobody can see and quietly beats everyone. Libra: Libby and yoga She’s a flamingo. She’s been doing tree pose on one leg since the day she hatched. The yoga teacher asked Libby to take the class. Scorpio: Score and karate Focused, powerful and very, very calm. Score earned her black belt in record time and has never needed to use it. People just know. Sagittarius: Sagg and hiking Up hills, down valleys, through forests and across rivers, ideally somewhere new every weekend. Sagg doesn’t do the same walk twice. Partly by choice, partly because Sagg never brings a map. Capricorn: Cap and rock climbing Obviously. Cap is a mountain goat. Cap reached the top of the climbing wall before the instructor finished explaining the safety rules, then politely asked if there was a taller wall. Aquarius: Aqua and trampolining Up in the air, seeing the world from above, thinking big thoughts mid-bounce. Aqua is also designing a trampoline that reaches space. Version one reached the ceiling. Pisces: Pike and swimming She’s a fish. It’s not exercise for Pike, it’s just Tuesday. She glides up and down the pool, dreaming, and has no idea how many lengths she’s done. (It’s 400.) Which Astrominal are you? Whatever your sign, the best exercise is the one you’ll actually enjoy. Even if, like Taur, it’s mostly the rest breaks.

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Driving – Ranking the astrological automotive abilities of the starsigns.

  Best Drivers by Zodiac Sign: The Astrominals Take Their Driving Test All twelve Astrominals took their driving test on the same day, with the same examiner. He has since retired to a quiet cottage with no road access. Here are the results, from worst to best. 12. Arri the Rhino (Aries) Arri passed the test in four minutes, which is impressive, because it’s supposed to take forty. He did the whole route in reverse “to make it more interesting” and used his horn as a bumper. Result: fail, but very quickly. 11. Gem & Eye (Gemini) Two toucans, one steering wheel, a lot of opinions. Gem wanted to turn left, Eye wanted to turn right, so they went straight on and talked about it for nine miles. Result: fail. Great chat, though. 10. Pike the Fish (Pisces) Pike drove beautifully, slowly and dreamily, all the way to the seaside. The test centre was in the other direction. She didn’t notice. She’d seen a lovely cloud. Result: fail. Lovely day out. 9. Leo the Lion (Leo) Leo spent the whole test checking his mane in the rear-view mirror. He waved to everyone he passed, including a lamppost, which he thought was a fan. Result: fail. Leo has asked for a recount. 8. Libby the Flamingo (Libra) Libby came to a fork in the road and couldn’t decide which way was fairer. She’s still there, on one leg, weighing up both options. The examiner brought her a sandwich. Result: pending. 7. Sagg the Zebra (Sagittarius) Sagg took a “quick detour” down a farm track, across a field and over a small hill, “just to see what’s there”. A map was offered. Sagg said maps are for people who know where they’re going. Result: pass on driving, fail on arriving. 6. Aqua the Pelican (Aquarius) Aqua turned up in a solar-powered hover car she built herself, then let it drive itself while she read a book. It drove perfectly. The examiner wasn’t sure who to give the certificate to. Result: the car passed. 5. Canny the Crab (Cancer) Canny drove carefully, brought snacks for the examiner and asked if he was warm enough. The only problem was that Canny drove the whole route sideways. Very safely. But sideways. Result: pass, with a note about the sideways bit. 4. Taur the Bull (Taurus) Slow, steady and absolutely unshakeable. Taur drove at exactly the same speed the whole way, stopped once for a snack, and refused to be rushed by anyone, including the examiner. Result: pass. Eventually. 3. Score (Scorpio) Score knew every speed camera, every pothole and every short cut before she set off. She also knew the examiner’s middle name. Nobody knows how. Result: pass. Examiner slightly unnerved. 2. Cap the Goat (Capricorn) Cap drove at exactly the speed limit, indicated a full five seconds before every turn and parked perfectly in one go. Cap also handed the examiner a written report on the route, with suggestions for improvement. Result: pass, with honours. 1. Virgo the Shy Sheep (Virgo) Mirror, signal, manoeuvre, every single time, with perfect hand positions and a car so clean it sparkled. Virgo was too shy to look at the examiner the whole time, but the driving was flawless. Result: full marks. Virgo hid behind the car to celebrate. Which Astrominal are you? Whatever your sign, buckle up, check your mirrors and never, ever let Arri drive.

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Relationships with a Gemini

  Gemini Compatibility: How Gem & Eye Get On With Every Star Sign We asked Gem & Eye, the Twin Toucans and Gemini Astrominals (21 May – 20 June), how they get on with the other signs. We got two answers for every sign, and they disagreed about most of them. Gem’s bits are first. Eye’s bits are in brackets, because Eye insisted. Gem & Eye + Arri (Aries) Arri is great fun. He runs, we talk, and between us we’ve done eleven things before breakfast. (Eight. Three were the same thing twice.) Verdict: best friends at top speed. Gem & Eye + Taur (Taurus) We told Taur forty stories in an hour. Taur said “Mm.” We think that means he loved it. (He was asleep.) Verdict: Taur is the best listener we know, even when he isn’t. Gem & Eye + Gem & Eye (Gemini) Four toucans in one room. Nobody has finished a sentence since Tuesday. (We have! We just finish each other’s.) Verdict: the noisiest party in the zodiac. Gem & Eye + Canny (Cancer) Canny wants a deep, cosy chat about feelings. We want to chat about everything at once. Canny is very patient with us. (Canny made us soup. We talked through the soup.) Verdict: Canny keeps us grounded. Lovingly. Gem & Eye + Leo (Leo) Leo performs, we commentate. It’s basically a live show. (We sold tickets. Leo doesn’t know.) Verdict: a hit, with a great audience. Gem & Eye + Virgo (Virgo) Virgo corrects our spelling. We correct Virgo’s fun levels. (Virgo corrected this sentence.) Verdict: we’re a better team than either of us expected. Gem & Eye + Libby (Libra) Fellow air sign, fellow bird, fellow chatterbox. We can talk for six hours and Libby still agrees with both of us. (Even when we disagree. That’s a skill.) Verdict: a match made in the clouds. Gem & Eye + Score (Scorpio) We tell Score everything. Score tells us nothing. Score knows all our secrets. We know none of Score’s. (We’re fine with this. We’re mostly fine with this.) Verdict: fascinating, slightly nerve-racking. Gem & Eye + Sagg (Sagittarius) Our opposite sign, and our favourite travel buddy. We ask the questions, Sagg goes and finds the answers, usually in another country. (We forgot our passports. Twice.) Verdict: the best road trip in the zodiac. Gem & Eye + Cap (Capricorn) Cap makes plans. We make plans and then change them. Cap has a whole folder called “Gem & Eye Changes”. (It’s a big folder.) Verdict: Cap keeps us on track. We keep Cap amused. Gem & Eye + Aqua (Aquarius) Aqua has big ideas, we have big mouths. Together we could explain anything to anyone. (We just did. Nobody asked.) Verdict: an air sign think tank, with snacks. Gem & Eye + Pike (Pisces) Pike tells the most beautiful dreamy stories. We act them out, doing every voice. (Pike cried. Happy crying.) Verdict: a lovely little theatre company. Gem & Eye’s sign-off: Getting on with a Gemini is easy. Just keep talking. Or listening. Or both at the same time. (We’ll handle the talking.) Want more Gem & Eye? Read The 10 Best Things About Being a Gemini. Related Posts Relationships with a Gemini Find More Relationships with a Libran Find More Relationships with a Cancerian Find More Relationships with a Sagittarius Find More

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