Christmas Getaways for Every Star Sign, Picked by the Astrominals
Some people spend Christmas on the sofa. Some spend it halfway up a mountain. One spends it explaining to a team of huskies why he should be allowed to steer. We asked the twelve Astrominals where they’d go if Christmas could be anywhere in the world. Their reasoning was flawless. It was also completely bonkers. That’s the Astrominal way: illogically logical.
Find your sign below, then pack accordingly. Tap your roundel to jump straight to your getaway.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Aries: Arri the Rhino
Destination: Rovaniemi, Lapland
Arri has done the maths. Santa delivers to the whole world in one night, so Santa must be the fastest thing alive, so Arri must race him. Rovaniemi sits on the Arctic Circle, it’s home to Santa Claus Village, and it has husky sledding, the only transport quick enough for a rhino in a hurry. He’ll be first in the queue, first on the sled, and first to ask the huskies to go faster. They can’t. He’ll offer to pull the sled himself. They’ll let him.
Arri’s packing list: one hat, zero patience, and a stopwatch to time Santa.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Taurus: Taur the Bull
Destination: Rural cottage, the Cotswolds
Taur worked out that the best part of any holiday is sitting down at the end, so he’s skipped straight to that. He’s booked a thatched cottage in the Cotswolds, with a roaring log fire, a village pub doing a proper roast, and an armchair that’s been warming up since October. He’ll go for one walk on Boxing Day, as far as the garden gate, and count it as exercise. The mince pies won’t survive the week.
Taur’s packing list: slippers, a spare pair of slippers, and a book he’s been about to start since 2019.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Gemini: Gem & Eye
Destination: Edinburgh (and also Copenhagen)
Gem: Edinburgh for Hogmanay. Fireworks over the castle, a giant street party, and tens of thousands of people to talk to.
Eye: Copenhagen. Tivoli Gardens at Christmas, fairy lights everywhere, and tens of thousands of different people to talk to. Completely different. Totally different people.
They couldn’t agree, so they did the only logical thing and booked both. Copenhagen for Christmas, Edinburgh for New Year, and a whole flight in between arguing about which was better. Gem says Edinburgh won. Eye says Gem only said that because Gem picked Edinburgh. Gem says Eye only said that because Eye picked Copenhagen. They’re both right. That’s the problem.
Gem & Eye’s packing list: two of everything, obviously, and one phone charger, which causes most of the arguments.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Cancer: Canny the Crab
Destination: Mousehole, Cornwall
Canny doesn’t really like leaving home, so she’s taken the logical step of going somewhere exactly like home, only with more lights. Every December the little harbour at Mousehole in Cornwall glows with lit-up boats, stars and sea creatures. One of those sea creatures will be Canny, sitting very still so the tourists think she’s part of the display. She’ll bake for the whole village, invite strangers round for tea, and cry happy tears every night when the lights come on. Then cry again when they go off.
Canny’s packing list: tissues, a tin of biscuits for sharing, and her shell. She was always going to bring her shell.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Leo: Leo the Lion
Destination: New York
Leo’s logic is airtight. The biggest star belongs on top of the biggest tree. Leo is the biggest star. Therefore Leo belongs on top of the Rockefeller Center tree in New York. Security disagreed. So he’ll settle for ice skating beneath it in a velvet cape, signing autographs nobody asked for, and telling the yellow taxis to wait because he’s posing. If the city looks extra bright this year, he’d like you to know that’s his mane.
Leo’s packing list: sunglasses, for when the spotlight follows him. It always does. He brought the spotlight.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Virgo: Virgo the Shy Sheep
Destination: Vienna
Vienna’s Christmas markets are tidy, beautifully lit and run like clockwork, the closest thing to perfect Virgo has found on Earth. The plan: visit every market in alphabetical order, straighten every wonky bauble when nobody’s looking, and quietly re-sort the gingerbread by size. Virgo has also counted the fairy lights in front of the City Hall. Twice. The numbers didn’t match, so it’s now a three-night stay. A shy sheep in a crowd of thousands, where nobody will notice? Bliss.
Virgo’s packing list: a list of lists, a spare list in case the first list gets lost, and a label maker.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Libra: Libby the Flamingo
Destination: Paris
Libby picked Paris because it’s graceful, romantic, and turns gloriously pink at sunset, which she takes as a personal compliment. There are lights along the Champs-Élysées, a carousel by the Eiffel Tower, and pastries too pretty to eat. To keep everyone happy, she’s letting each Astrominal choose one café. That’s eleven cafés. She’ll eat a little at each so nobody feels left out, then stand on one leg for an hour to balance it all out. That’s flamingo fairness.
Libby’s packing list: one elegant scarf, chosen after three days of deciding, and a backup scarf so the first one doesn’t feel left out.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Scorpio: Score
Destination: Tromsø, Norway
In Tromsø the sun doesn’t rise for weeks in midwinter. Most people find that a bit gloomy. Score finds it suspicious, and nothing makes her happier than something suspicious. Long dark days are ideal for investigating, and the northern lights are the biggest secret in the sky. She’ll track them down in her diving helmet and wellies, find them first, and refuse to say where she was standing. Ask her if she enjoyed it and she’ll say, “Maybe.” That means yes.
Score’s packing list: a torch, a notebook of secrets, the wellies, and a second notebook about who’s been reading the first one.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Sagittarius: Sagg the Zebra
Destination: Christmas (all of them)
Sagg was asked to pick one Christmas destination, so he’s picked all of them. Literally. Every place on the map called Christmas. First stop, Christmas, Arizona: a ghost town in the desert, where the only welcome came from a tumbleweed. He posted himself a Christmas card anyway. The post office closed in 1935, and its mail used to be forwarded to nearby Winkelman, so Winkelman is now on the trip too. He’ll collect the card in person. Then Christmas, Florida, where the streets are named after reindeer and he got lost somewhere between Comet and Blitzen. Then Christmas, Michigan, to say hello to a 35-foot Santa. Then Santa Claus, Indiana, and North Pole, Alaska, just to be thorough. He finishes on Christmas Island, where millions of red crabs march to the sea every year. Sagg joined in. Nobody told him not to.
Sagg’s packing list: a map with every place called Christmas circled, a passport, and a suitcase he hasn’t unpacked since 2023.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Capricorn: Cap the Goat
Destination: Zermatt, Switzerland
Cap looks at the Matterhorn above Zermatt the way other people look at a box of chocolates. Mountains, he points out, are just very tall to-do lists. He’ll ski every morning, climb whatever he’s allowed to, and set a personal best for reaching the top of everything, including the queue for the cable car. Christmas dinner is booked for 6pm sharp. He’ll arrive at 5.55, review the menu for efficiency, and leave a five-star review with one note: pudding could be faster.
Cap’s packing list: his chunky knit jumper, his lace-up boots, and a five-year plan for next Christmas.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Aquarius: Aqua the Pelican
Destination: Reykjavik, Iceland
Aqua’s reasoning: one Father Christmas is a tradition, but thirteen is a system worth studying. Iceland has thirteen Yule Lads, each arriving on a different night with his own peculiar habit, and Aqua plans to interview every one of them. Between interviews she’ll float in the steaming Blue Lagoon, studying the northern lights and drawing diagrams of how they could be improved. She’s bringing her own water, just in case. It’s Iceland. There’s quite a lot of water already. She’s bringing it anyway.
Aqua’s packing list: a notebook full of ideas nobody has had yet, and a pouch full of water from home.
The perfect Christmas getaway for...
Pisces: Pike the Fish
Destination: Venice
A whole city floating on water, its canals twinkling with Christmas lights? To a fish, Venice isn’t a holiday destination. It’s family. Pike will drift along the Grand Canal in a gondola, daydreaming so hard she misses three stops and one entire island. She’ll get gloriously lost in the little streets, find a café she’ll never find again, and insist that was the plan all along. It was. Pike’s plans are just very good at hiding.
Pike’s packing list: a sketchbook, a book of poems, and no map, because maps know too much.
Wherever you end up this Christmas
Whether you’re sledding with Arri or still on Taur’s sofa, we hope your Christmas is out of this world. If you’re staying home this year, find out how each Astrominal spends the perfect Christmas. Still shopping? Our gift guide for every star sign has you covered. And if you’re planning further ahead, here’s the perfect holiday destination for each sign for the rest of the year.
Merry Christmas from all twelve of us. Thirteen if you count Gem and Eye separately, which they’d both like you to. Fourteen if you count Arri, who has somehow already been and come back.