Scorpio

  Gift Ideas for a Scorpio: 12 Presents, Reviewed by Score the Lobster Looking for gift ideas for a Scorpio? Buying for a Scorpio (23 October – 21 November) is tricky, because a Scorpio will never tell you what they want. They’ll know exactly what they want. They’ve known for months. They’re just waiting to see if you’ve been paying attention. Scorpios are intense, loyal and private, with a gift for finding out secrets while keeping all of their own. Their Astrominal is Score the Lobster, who wears a diving helmet, a pair of wellies and an expression that says she already knows what you got her. We asked Score to review twelve gift ideas. She agreed, on the condition that nothing she said could be used as evidence. 1. An escape room Locked doors, hidden clues and a ticking clock. Score says: “I’ll be out in twenty minutes. The record is forty. I’d like the record to know I’m coming.” 2. A lockable diary With a real key. Which the Scorpio will hide somewhere you’ll never find. Score says: “What’s in it? Nothing. Just thoughts. Some of them are about you. Most of them are fine.” 3. A murder mystery game A dinner party where everyone’s a suspect. Score says: “I knew who did it at the starter. I let the game run to dessert. It seemed rude not to.” 4. A detective novel One with a twist they won’t see coming. Good luck. Score says: “I read the last page first. Not to spoil it. To see if the author could still surprise me. The author could not.” 5. Noise-cancelling headphones For a sign that loves the deep, quiet places. Score says: “Silence. Like the bottom of the ocean, but with better snacks.” 6. Very dark chocolate The darker and more intense, the better. Score says: “Ninety per cent cocoa. Anyone who says it’s bitter just isn’t ready.” 7. A spy kit Invisible ink, a magnifying glass, a fingerprint set. Score says: “I’m not saying I’ll use it. I’m saying I’ve already found out who ate the last biscuit. It was Taur. It’s always Taur.” 8. A magic set Scorpios love knowing how a trick works, and never telling. Score says: “I know how every trick works. I’ll never tell you. That’s the trick.” 9. A mystery subscription box A puzzle or a case to crack, delivered every month. Score says: “Monthly is good. It gives me time to solve it, and a further three weeks to look smug.” 10. A smoky, mysterious candle Sandalwood, amber, a little bit of dark forest. Score says: “It smells like a secret. I’m not telling you which one.” 11. A deep-sea documentary night A box set about the ocean floor, and blankets for two. Score says: “Ah. Home. That’s my cousin at nine minutes. We don’t talk.” 12. An Astrominals Scorpio birthday card Whatever you choose, put it with a card that understands them. The Astrominals zodiac birthday cards feature Score cracking an escape room, framed by a border of true-to-sign Scorpio traits. Score says: “I found it before you gave it to me. It was in the third drawer. Under the tea towels. Bold choice.” Score’s three rules for buying a Scorpio a present Pay attention. “I mentioned what I wanted once, in March. Quietly. That was the test.” Go deep, not big. “One meaningful thing beats a pile of shiny ones. I can see through shiny.” Never re-gift. “I’ll know. I always know. I’m keeping score. It’s in the name.” So, which present would Score choose? Score says: “I’ll never tell. But if the escape room happened to be booked for Saturday, I’d be there. In my wellies.” Not sure which Astrominal you’re buying for? Take the quiz, or meet Score the Lobster and the rest of Team Water. Astrological and zoological. Illogically logical.