Aries: Arri builds flat-pack furniture

At top speed, without reading the instructions. Every wardrobe Arri builds is finished in nine minutes and has three screws left over. The wardrobes mostly stand up.

Taurus: Taur bakes

Bread, cakes, pies, biscuits. Taur is a brilliant baker. Very few people have ever tasted his baking, because Taur eats it all while it’s still cooling.

Gemini: Gem & Eye host a podcast

Two hosts, no guests, no topic and no time limit. Episode one is called “Hello”. It’s eleven hours long. It has a surprisingly large audience.

Cancer: Canny makes scrapbooks

Every birthday, every holiday, every nice afternoon, glued into a scrapbook with captions, stickers and a pressed flower. Canny has 412 scrapbooks. Canny needs a scrapbook to keep track of them.

Leo: Leo does amateur dramatics

Leo has played the lead in every production at the local theatre, including one written for a cast of children. He brought the house down. The house was mostly his fans.

Virgo: Virgo does jigsaw puzzles

The 5,000-piece ones. Edges first, sorted by colour, then sorted again by shade. When Virgo finds a piece missing, Virgo can’t sleep until it turns up. (It’s always under Taur.)

Libra: Libby arranges flowers

Every vase perfectly balanced, every bloom in harmony, and every bouquet slightly pink. She takes three hours on each one, then asks everybody which one is their favourite.

Scorpio: Score does escape rooms

The record for the hardest escape room in the country is 58 minutes. Score did it in six, then pointed out a clue the designers didn’t know was there.

Sagittarius: Sagg goes geocaching

A treasure hunt using GPS, all over the world? Sagg was born for it. Sagg has found 900 hidden treasures, lost three phones and accidentally discovered a small island.

Capricorn: Cap builds model railways

The trains run perfectly on time. There’s a tiny timetable, a tiny station master and a tiny board meeting every Monday. Cap has never been happier.

Aquarius: Aqua builds robots

Out of old toasters, broken umbrellas and whatever she finds in her pouch. Her latest robot does the washing up. Her robot before that does the washing up badly and argues about it.

Pisces: Pike writes poetry

Poems about the moon, the sea, the colour blue and a duck she met once. Pike writes them on whatever’s nearby: napkins, leaves, Taur’s shopping list. Taur has never had such a beautiful shopping list.

Which Astrominal are you? Whatever your sign, the best hobby is the one that makes you lose track of time. Just like Gem & Eye’s podcast. Episode two is coming soon. It’s twelve hours long.