They're creepy and they're kooky... Which Halloween character are you?
The Astrominals Trick or Treat costumes
A costume is a personality test you wear.
You can lie on a form. You cannot lie in a bedsheet.
Twelve star signs. Twelve Astrominals. Twelve classic Halloween costumes, each one chosen because the sign left no other option.
Eleven were assigned after careful thought. The twelfth was chosen in a mirror months ago, and you can probably guess by whom.
How to read this: The Astrominals are twelve zodiac characters, and each one is a real animal matched to a sign. Fire signs are African savanna animals, Earth signs are farm animals, Air signs are birds, and Water signs are water creatures. The costume always comes from the sign, never the animal. Canny is not a ghost because crabs are spooky. Crabs are not spooky. Crabs are just sideways. Canny is a ghost for very specific reasons, and we will get to them, gently, with tea.
Leo
Leo is...
Dracula
Dracula is not just a vampire, but vampire royalty – Count Dracula. Dracula lives in a castle, sleeps all day, makes one big entrance a night and expects the room to gasp. Leo read the character notes and said, “Finally, a documentary.” So we have a red carpet, velvet ropes and a crowd in silhouette. The fangs are small. The entrance is so big it needed planning permission. The pumpkin next to Leo is wearing sunglasses too. Nobody asked the pumpkin, and the pumpkin didn’t ask either. Stand near Leo for long enough and you get styled.
Dracula wants your blood. Leo wants more…. Leo your undivided attention, which is honestly the bigger ask.
Aries
Arri is....
Frankenstein’s Monster
Frankenstein’s monster is what you get when you build first and read the manual later. In Arri’s case the manual never got read, because it was still printing and Arri does not wait for printers. Arri has bolts in the neck. The chalkboard behind shows how a monster is supposed to look, which Arri glanced at once and dismissed as “one opinion.” There is also a toolbox of spare limbs, because the evening might need a third arm and Arri would rather not stop to ask.
Aries isn’t the monster. Aries is the lightning: loud, brilliant, and gone before anyone has their goggles on.
Sagittarius
Sagg is...
The Headless Horseman
The Headless Horseman was never going to be a stretch. Sagittarius is already half horse, so add a pumpkin and Sagg is in costume more or less by accident. Will having no head slow Sagg down?
Unlikely Sagittarius has been going places without using a map or fully thinking them through for centuries.
You were going to say goodbye. Too late. Sagg left somewhere around the “-ttarius” of “Sagittarius.” A postcard is on its way, and it says “you’d love it here,” which is not an invitation to join them.
FIRE SIGNS: Already at the party before it started
Fire gives you Arri, Leo and Sagg: a monster without a manual, a grand entrance, and an exit you weren’t told about.
Taurus
Taur is
The Mummy
A mummy is someone who has been lying down, undisturbed, for three thousand years. Taurus read that and felt something close to envy. So Taur is wrapped up in the good armchair with a cat asleep on the bandages, and when a cat is asleep on you, you do not move. That’s the law. There’s a hot water bottle, tea, grapes and slippers. This isn’t a costume. It’s a lifestyle with bandages. There’s a “reserved” tag on the back of the chair. The tag is for you, and it says no.
Trick or treat? Taurus has the treats. You can see them, but you can’t have them. The curse of the mummy’s tomb was only ever Taurus not sharing the snacks.
Capricorn
Cap is
The Werewolf
Werewolves are famous for losing control once a month. Capricorn heard “losing control” and booked a meeting about it. Transformation happens on the full moon only, entered in the planner weeks ahead, and the howling has a time slot with a hard stop. Cap is standing in the woods in a shaggy werewolf suit worn over the knitwear, because it’s October and the knitwear is not up for discussion, and is ticking off a moon chart on a clipboard. A folding chair, a thermos, a case and a lantern are all set out. Colour-coded sticky tabs on a tree mark the moon phases. The hedge behind is also clipped into a ticked checklist. Virgo did the topiary. Cap paid the invoice on time.
The wolf was the one wild, untamed part of Cap’s life. It now has a calendar invite, and it has accepted.
Virgo
Virgo is
The Witch
Most witches cackle and chuck in “a handful of eye of newt.” A handful? Whose hand? How big a hand? Virgo has questions, and a complaints procedure. The cauldron has been measured, the potion bottles stand in size order, and the scales hanging off the cauldron are calibrated. The ruler in the apron pocket is for emergencies, and to Virgo anything unmeasured is an emergency. Every step on the clipboard is ticked. Behind Virgo, the garden hedge has been clipped into the shape of a to-do list, with ticks. Clipping the hedge was on the list, and it has been ticked.
“Double, double, toil and trouble”? Virgo has crossed out “trouble” and written see revised method, attached.
EARTH SIGNS: In possession of a spare everything Farm animals. Practical, reliable, and they brought a flask.
Earth signs give you Taur, Virgo and Cap: a very long nap, a measured method, and a werewolf with a diary.
Cancer
Canny is
The Ghost
A ghost’s defining feature is that it never leaves the house. Canny read that and thought it sounded like a normal Tuesday. Canny floats in the doorway with a tray of tea, biscuits and a hot water bottle, blue wellies poking out from under the sheet. The hallway behind is lined with the shoes of everyone Canny loves, all in a neat row, and none of them are going back on anyone’s feet without a conversation first.
Most ghosts want you out. Canny’s ghost wants you to stay for another cuppa, which is much more frightening. The door is open, but your coat is no longer where you left it.
Pisces
Pike is
The Mermaid
A mermaid is the one costume Pike can actually swim in. Most of us dress up as something we’re not, and Pike has dressed up as a fish, only more so. There’s a shell-and-pearl crown with a starfish clip, pearls, and a shimmering tail draped over the side of the bowl. The bowl sits on a wheeled cart, which Pike has packed for the evening with fishing rods (a bold choice, for a fish), a rubber duck, a basket and a sleigh. Somewhere along the way a snowman and a robin joined the trip. Nobody knows how, Pike included. It is October, and Pike has driven straight past Halloween into Christmas and possibly a festival that hasn’t been invented yet.
Yes, the bowl is part of the outfit. Commitment matters. So does knowing what month it is, but you can’t have everything.
Scorpio
Score is
The Creature from the Black Lagoon
The Creature from the Black Lagoon spent an entire film trying to be left alone, which Score finds extremely relatable. Score is in a scaly lagoon-creature suit, dome helmet on, wellies on, small notebook in claw, because notes are still being taken on everyone. You’re in there, and you’ve been in there for some time. One claw is raised at exactly the height that says boundaries.
If you can’t see Score at the party, that’s Score at the party. If you can see Score, it’s because Score has decided to let you. Act natural, although Score already knows you won’t.
WATER SIGNS: Deep feelings, long memories Water creatures. They’ll find you. You won’t find them.
Water signs give you Canny, Score and Pike: a hallway you can’t leave, a lagoon you can’t see into, and a fishbowl heading for Christmas.
Libra
Libby is...
The Zombie
A zombie’s only real task is to stay upright while everything else falls apart, and Libby has trained for this her entire life, on one leg, beautifully. Standing still is flawless. Walking is where it goes wrong. She has curlers in, pearls on, a patent handbag, and a jewelled cane keeping the whole bird vertical. The gown is in tatters but the trim is immaculate, because you can be undead without being careless. One pink heel is on. The other is having doubts, and Libby respects its right to decide, once it has drawn up a list of pros and cons.
Zombies want brains. Libby wants balance, symmetry, and someone to say the shuffle is working. It isn’t, and she knows. She is lurching with tremendous dignity.
Gemini
Gem n' Eye are...
Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
Dr Jekyll has the waistcoat, cravat and glasses, and would love to talk you through his research.
Mr Hyde is the same bird in a top hat and torn coat, one green potion down, and has just said something unforgivable to a vicar.
Behind them is a. shadow, and it is not a toucan’s. Gem says it’s Eye’s. Eye says it’s Gem’s. The shadow has stopped listening to both of them.
Most people need a whole Victorian novella to reveal their dark side. Gemini manages it between the cover and page 2.
Aquarius
Aqua is
The Alien
Aqua is not from round here and never has been, hence the alien. Silver space suit, goggles up, ray gun glowing. The pelican pouch is full of cargo: a glowing egg and several things best not asked about ….because Aqua will tell you, at length, with diagrams. Behind Aqua is the flying saucer with the hatch open, and Aqua’s picnic blanket, a sandwich and a pair of wellies. You don’t cross the vastnness of space without a packed lunch.
Did you. spot the crop circle, the confused cow, and the hedgehog in a foil hat?
The hedgehog is the only one who knows what is really going on …and would like that noted.
Aqua has come in peace …with a forty-minute presentation on why your planet is doing everything slightly wrong. The ray gun is for anyone who tries to leave before the Q&A.
AIR SIGNS: Will change their minds mid-flight
Air signs give you Gem & Eye, Libby and Aqua: a double act, a balancing act, and a TED talk from space.
Twelve signs, twelve costumes, and no panicking in a supermarket aisle on 31 October holding a bin bag and calling it “abstract.”
For another way to meet the characters, try the Astrominals personality quiz. It’s a bit of fun inspired by the twelve archetypes: an astrology personality quiz, not a diagnosis.
Want to know which animal matches each sign? Read What Animal Is My Star Sign? The Answer Nobody Gives You Properly. It explains the Astrominals’ zodiac animal signs and how animal characteristics and star signs fit together.
Astrological and Zoological. Illogically logical.